Family Meal Time

Section Shortcuts:

• What’s the Big Deal?
• Overcoming Difficulties with Family Meal
• How Can I Eat When I'm Tongue Tied?

What’s the Big Deal?

Research by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA)* at Columbia University consistently finds that the more often children eat dinner with their families, the less likely they are to smoke, drink or use drugs. The conversations that go hand-in-hand with dinner will help you learn more about your children's lives and better understand the challenges they face.

The CASA September 2005 report The Importance of Family Dinners II found that 58% of teens report having dinner with their families at least five times a week, up substantially from the 47% reported in CASA ’s 1998 survey. That ’s good news. But the downside of the survey found that 1/4 of teens and half of parents want family dinners more often than their current schedules allow. About half of the teens and almost all of the parents who have fewer than three dinners with their families in a typical week would like to have family dinners more often. Also, teens from these families report that they are more likely to dine with the television on, talk little during dinner, and feel that their family dinners do not last long enough. Overall, 24% of teens want family dinners more often. (To read more of this important report, click here.)

CASA lists 10 important benefits of family meals for children and teens. Children and teens who have frequent family dinners:

1. are at half the risk for substance abuse compared to teens who dine with their families infrequently
2. are less likely to have friends or classmates who use illicit drugs or abuse prescription drugs
3. have lower levels of tension and stress at home
4. are more likely to say that their parents are proud of them
5. are likelier to say they can confide in their parents
6. are likelier to get better grades in school
7. are more likely to be emotionally content and have positive peer relationships
8. have healthier eating habits
9. are at lower risk for thoughts of suicide
10. are less likely to try marijuana or have friends who use marijuana

Overcoming Difficulties with Family Meals

Late work hours, after-school activities, and long commutes are only some of the culprits that prevent families from increasing the frequency of family dinners.

According to Martha Marino, nutritionist with the Dairy Council of Washington, "You need to add dinner to your family schedule. To make sure you spend most of dinnertime with your family rather than at your stove, plan meals that are simple to prepare. Another way to make family meals happen is to involve the kids in the planning and preparation as well as the eating. Homemade pizza, using a pre-made crust or even French bread, can be a simple and fun meal to prepare together.

"Dinner is usually the meal that is easiest for most families to schedule, but for some it may be easier to have breakfast together," Marino said. "If a parent has the time, it ’s also possible in many circumstances for parents to join their kids at school for lunch. The key is for kids and adults to share time together, and sharing a meal is the perfect opportunity."

The Nutrition Education Network of Washington has a wonderful website promoting their Eat Better Eat Together program that is full of great ideas and links to informative sites.

Parents.com also offers these great tips in their article "The New Family Dinner: Different Ways to Come Together"

• It doesn ’t have to be every night
• It doesn ’t have to be at home
• It doesn ’t have to be Mom doing it alone
• It doesn ’t have to be dinner
• It doesn ’t even have to be food

Be sure to check out the other websites listed in the sidebar for other fantastic ideas about how to make family meals a regular part of your schedule, including links to great recipes ideas!

How Can I Eat When I’m Tongue Tied?

For some families, getting to the table together is only half the battle. From bickering, to fidgety bodies, to apathy; parents that bring the family together still could use resources to keep their family ’s engagement positive and supportive.

TriCity Partners; a seventeen member group represented a diverse segment from the Minnesota communties of Bloomington, Edina, and Richfield, has created Let ’s Talk Tins.

The tin has over 100 questions that can be answered by all members in the family, although a few may be more appropriate for older children. Some questions are thought provoking: "In what ways is respect shown/not shown in our family?" Some are serious: "What makes a person a success?" And some are just fun: "What or who makes you giggle? And why?"

How the questions are answered is not important - it ’s the aspect of sitting down together and talking. And making a habit of it.

To order the tins, contact Bloomington Public Health at 952-563-8984, or follow the Let ’s Talk Tins link and make your own!

Some ideas from the National Safety Council published in their June 19, 2000, article "Return to the Family Meal" include:

• Don ’t discuss topics that cause bickering. If bickering is a frequent problem, Petersen suggests looking at the situation objectively. Tape record the meal and play it back. "Listen to what you ’re talking about," she advises. "Sometimes kids who whine and bicker need to hear what they sound like."
• Have fun. When it comes to mixing fun with food, gourmet chef Graham Kerr is an expert. In his former TV series, "The Galloping Gourmet," he taught viewers how to liven up their cooking techniques. Now, Kerr ’s focus is on the revival of the dinner table. His popular cookbook, The Gathering Place, is subtitled "Informal, international menus that bring family and friends back to the table." And according to Kerr, creativity is the key to luring the family back to the dinner table. Begin one day a week and get everyone involved. Give family meals a "round-the-world" theme for a fun learning experience. Pick a country, and let children taste test interesting foods.

Dr. Tom Baranowski, a Baylor professor of pediatrics and psychologist with the Children ’s Nutrition Resource Center ’s Behavioral Nutrition section offers these suggestions:

• Keep conversations interesting. Reciting a litany of work-woes or reviewing chore lists does little to build family ties or expand a child ’s view of the world.
• Create conversation-starting rituals. For example, have each family member plan to share a statement, perhaps about something interesting they recently did or learned. Or, even a silly joke. To help children feel more comfortable expressing feelings and thoughts, parents should offer their statements first.
• Keep comments positive and supportive. If children bring up problematic issues, suggest an after dinner talk to work out a solution together. This allows the child to save face and keeps the dinner table a safe place for children to bring up difficult topics.